17 October 2007

No Biker Attire...


Ok...I don't actually have anything against motorcyclists...except for briefly dating one, and getting on his motorcycle (which about cured me of anything like that, but I'm glad I tried it anyhow, just so I know I don't like speeding along a paved highway at 100 mph with nothing to hang on to) which now makes me want to run-over anyone I see on a sport bike (a.k.a. Crotch Rocket, which I'm hoping that will pass eventually, because I really don't have a thing against motorcyclists...and Crotch Rocket? Really boys...surely we hope there's more going on down there than a motorcycle?)

A gentleman came meandering into the shop yesterday and asked if I had any men's black leather jackets for sale. You see, he has just bought a Harley-Davidson and he was quite proud (I know this because he immediately launched into all sorts of sordid details about the model and make of the bike and the engine specs...and I stood there, willing myself to not totally zone out, my eyes glazing over...or tap my foot in impatience...or grab my car and run him over) And, you see, he wanted a leather jacket...

"...but, I don't want to spend $400 on one"

I would guess that's because he just spent elevendy-hundred dollars on his motorcycle...

"...and it can't be brown...because it's a Harley...and that wouldn't look good!"

I slowly took in his appearance..His grey comb-over gently covering his balding head (at least he won't have to worry about helmet hair) A tan Members Only jacket, with a button up muted plaid shirt in blues, tucked into his rather loose Wrangler jeans...and his feet encased in his Sperry topsiders.

Yeah.

I'm not sure there was anything I could do to help...

Direct him to the black leather studded dog collar section of Snap Snap? Telling him he needs to look into acquiring a large black leather wallet with a chain so that people can't get to his money? (cause' I have no idea what kind of people he rolls with...yo) Suggest a white cotton wife-beater tank to go over his new tight pair of jeans that he could wear his leather chaps over? A bandanna for his head, so the few wisps of hair that remained on top either didn't blow off entirely or wrap around his neck and strangle him...sending him into an early death?

Which leads me to an interesting question...if he was to "fly his colors" what would they be? Do they have colors for those that have just recently gotten into the motorcycle craze? People who are elderly? Would that be Silver perhaps? Which also makes me wonder what outlaw biker group he would belong to...The Gray Rebel? Outrunning Death? Old Bastards?

He left a little disappointed after I directed him to many of our Pawn Shops here in town...

This morning, during my walk...I was passed by a man on a Harley...wisps of gray hair blowing in the wind...he turned the corner right in front of me making me jump back up on the curb so I didn't loose the foot that was already set out into the street, stalling his bike, and coasting down half of the block until he managed to get the motorcycle started again, almost hitting a parked car...nearly jerking himself off the bike from a low hanging tree branch in the process...

He was wearing Sperry topsiders and a brown leather jacket...

He was right...
it did not look good...

6 comments:

Granny J said...

My last bike ride was when I was 6 or 7! But I've always had an Inner Biker (like whatshername in the cartoon strip, Rose Is a Rose), which is to say a rebellious streak. However, I've been fascinated, watching the Harley riders as they age. Got some good tshirt pix of aged-in-grade bikers down at the Skull Valley pie social.

flutter said...

at least he knew what he wanted!

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is so sad. But I would like a photo of the black leather dog collar collection at the shop!

Anonymous said...

RUBS.... don't get the craze...Glad you're okay...

*snort* @ members only jacket.

Anonymous said...

You have black leather dog collars in your store? Wow, I haven't really looked around there, have I?

Anonymous said...

You know what I think? I think there should be a law that men are not allowed to wear khakis when they are riding a motorcycle.

Unless maybe their house happens to burn down and all they have are the khakis they were wearing when the house caught fire, in which case they should be allowed to get on their motorcycle and drive to the store and get themselves a pair of jeans.

Not that I have given this matter a lot of thought or anything.

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