28 February 2007

OH Knit!

...I did not knit last night
...not one stitch
...not one purl

I sat and zoned out and talked with my mom and Rozzie, and watched my mom knit a pair of socks...with the worst yarn in the world. Every once in a while, the yarn would just unravel and fall totally apart, forcing her to knit the ends right into the sock...weird. And then watching THIS video...Which always makes me laugh hysterically.

The reason for the sitting and zoning: I had quite a long day at the shop, and did not step foot out of there until an hour after I closed. No emergency, no cleaning or redecorating, I was just talking with a friend for about two and a half hours (sometimes we have these marathon conversations...and if you know me...you know I can talk) I figured sometime around closing time that it had become more important that I talk than run to the bank or straight home...like I had thought I would. Which makes me think I need to get up earlier than normal to squeeze all the things in that I need to to before I trudge on down to the shop again tomorrow, and you know how I hate to wake up to an alarm...sigh.

And, after knitting...I mean, sitting, it was onto Ms. Dina's where I proceeded to trim her hair, as she was in bad need of a little clean-up, and while I lopped...um, I mean, trimmed a little more than she wanted off...I think it looked mighty good, and she sat around for the rest of the evening running her hands through it and remarking how good it felt. This coming from a gorgeous girl whom always looks fabulous (in my humble opinion) no matter what state her hair is in. Need I mention that we girls have been on a total grooming kick for about a week now? It seems we're doing it in stages...and thinking of pedicures next. We both have this huge fantasy about going to a day spa...soon.

Well, I'm off to rest...mostly because I'm seeing double...and mostly because I get to go out yet again tomorrow night for wings and fun...

27 February 2007

Corners of my home...

...After adding a little Torani Hazelnut syrup to my morning beverage (ie. coffee) and watching the shadows dance around the kitchen...I felt a little inspired to sit and write (plus, I have a smidgen of extra time before I launch myself into the world again...as it seems to have been a morning of unlimited time)

I haven't posted a corner in a while, but with the subtle changing of the light lately in my world...and waking up to cheery birdsong, I realize that the seasons are indeed once again slowly changing, winding up to summer here in the Northland. I have especially been noticing it because the feeling of being hemmed in here has been overwhelming. I have been wanting to get in a car, with the windows down and music up, and drive.

Drive away.

I suppose it could be misconstrued as some sort of escapism from my life, but really, it's something that overtakes me. I have memories of driving in the soft heat, with playful breezes

Laughing outloud
Singing outloud

(mostly up Mingus on the way to Jerome...where you have to drive a little slowly because of all the curves) where I get the urge to spread my wings...and try to touch both the road, and the clouds. We have the most beautiful clouds here...

Little fluffy ones
(as the song by The Orb goes)

And drat the car that I've become wary of driving out of town. So, I was thinking of hitchhiking somewhere on Saturday. And really, the only reason I think better of it is because I need to clean and bake for the upcoming soiree that night instead.

Oh...and for some exciting news...my mother (and employee of sorts) is switching days off with me because working on Saturday will suit her better.

Are you kidding me?

I haven't had the weekends off in years (the perk of owning your own business) and have been successful in talking myself into the idea that I like to work on Saturdays because it's busier...yeah, well, it didn't take me long to talk myself into the idea that I can now take Saturdays off because most of my friends have the weekends off...and it will be so much fun to do things with them.

So, for what it's worth...I do indeed see lot's of road trips in my future...

Laughing outloud
Singing outloud
Spreading my wings...
and touching the clouds...

26 February 2007

Weekend Obsessions...

Dead dead dead...
did I mention that I'm a little on the exhausted side? Does this always have to happen when one finally discovers that they have a life? Suddenly and out of the blue-like...OK, I suppose it's been brewing for quite some time now (as I have been alive a few years, give or take)

Starting the busy weekend off was a lovely dinner on Friday night at The Bin Place (as we like to call it) With Suz and her lovely hubby. It was wonderful to finally meet him...and I was really lucky because not only did I get them in a group, but I got them by themselves for breakfast early Sunday before their drive away from town.

There was much catching up and laughing to do...

Of course My Pal Amy was there...And, I would like to not complain about how I look in this picture, but I swear...I practice in the mirror before I take pictures, and somehow between practicing and being in front of an actual camera...I get overzealous and smiley...and that makes all my chins pop out to make an appearance, I would like to believe that theory, because I can't believe I actually look like this in real life (and that's all I'm saying) (that and you'll notice that my eyebrows look incredibly impressive, as I spent Thursday evening with Dina being tweezed and waxed within an inch of my life...girls girls girls) Add to that a quick hair trimming and shaping on Friday morning...not to mention the dentist early this morning where he did what he called some "quick redecorating" and filed down the sides and a little of the fronts of my front teeth "...to make them look smoother and better" YIKES! I've actually been walking around like this, I mean, I don't think I'm a vampire...but still.

The D-man and Dina enjoyed a evening out on Friday as well...watching the hockey game and eating wings (I know...what else would one expect with the D-man around?) The D-man was up early and off to LV for the weekend to visit family (before he heads off to home later this week...sigh, I'm already feeling quite sad about that fact, especially since he informed me that he won't be attending the Saturday night soiree) They caught up with us at the Raven Cafe later that night...for a little hot cocoa. AND Dina and Nico called me early on Saturday for a little bite out...

Saturday night was an impromptu unpacking and movie night with a friend...and Sunday was the aforementioned breakfast, and a packing/cleaning party...I'm sore, tired and am having a little trouble moving my right arm. Have I mentioned that I have been going on little bits of sleep, so today I am trying to play a little catch-up, do laundry, clean around here and relax (all at the same time, I think the relaxing bit may be winning out)

...And Obsessions?

Well, I was getting to that...The Coconut Creme Kisses are out for Easter,

They are divine.
Oh so good.

A soft milk chocolate covering a creamy coconut center with toasted coconut pieces in it. They are just a tasty treat for the mouth indeed. Dina and I are already panicking because these things tend to be seasonal...and we just know that they are going to go the way of the white chocolate/peppermint Kisses, they already ran out of them at the local Target (which was a bummer, because they were on sale) I mean, I had just ran into the grocery the other day and they were marking down the Valentine Candy...and I got 3 bags of peanut butter Kisses for only 50 cents each. Just because they had had wrapping on the out side packaging? Whatever!

And I have been dancing and grooving around to The Marie Antoinette Soundtrack all weekend as well. I think I burned a copy for the house, one for the car, and one for the shop...

obsessed again?
I would think so...

23 February 2007

Me...World Tour...

I thought I would end the 80's flashback week with me!
(don't fall off your chairs)

Ah yes, there I am, the first day of high school, you can't tell, but I'm probably scared (like I've spent most of my life...a little frightened and unsure of myself) don't let the plaid pants, Guess brand denim book bag and cool Reebok shoes fool you. Knowing me, I've had this exact outfit picked out for days before the actual time I had to wear it...in fact, if I remember correctly, I probably had the whole weeks worth of clothes picked out...

I think maybe, I thought that if I looked OK, I might be OK...(this coming from a woman, you realize, that is in complete wardrobe meltdown because of a fun dinner tonight with, you guessed it, a lot of old friends from high school who probably could give a whoop about what I'm wearing...really...when you live in the same town for 27 years...things come back to haunt you...not that this is a bad thing, I'm just saying...)

And, this is my favoritest school picture of myself...I believe it was my junior year. I have no idea why I like this one so much...I think it was the good hair day, or the fact that I actually looked OK (for me. except on closer examination, I think my left eye looks a little squinchy...and you know I'm going to jump right up and look at myself in the mirror as soon as I get done here) and I was wearing a lovely knitted dress that looked like an over sized bag.

A large knitted bag.
With sleeves.

You know...that baggy thing was really wasted on me. Here I was, extremely thin, and what? I have to walk around in large knitted outfits of all sorts. Simply because it's "in". Well, rest assured, I am NOT walking around in low rise jeans that display my thong underwear these days...I don't care how "cool" that is (OK...I'm not fooling anyone...who really wants to see all of that anyway?)

And, the Me...World Tour thing above? That was a lovely bumper sticker that was on my firstie car. Everything was _ _ _ _ -world tour in the 80's, if I remember correctly...So, I thought the bumper sticker was just hilarious. So, that's me and the bug. 1970's number...I loved that thing, and yes, I did actually replace the custom brown plaid seats (hello?!?!) I did indeed have that car until I went to college, so we did a lot of things together. I remember getting my Honda Accord and being amazed that I didn't have to hold my breath every time I started it, because it would probably start...not like the bug...you just never knew. Although, I have to say, having a Volkswagen, feels like a soul mate...it's more than a car, it just talks to you in a totally different way. And yes, you're right, that is indeed an entire Esprit outfit (that I paid a lot of $$ for...why was that stuff so expensive then? I swear I can hardly give the stuff away in the shop now) I mean, I practically died when I went up to San Fransisco and went to the factory!

I was going to write something poetic about how I arrived at the place I am now in my life. But, every time I look around, there seems to be a different destination place and a different me landing there. I don't know how static I am anymore...it all just keeps changing. I suppose it always has, I'm just noticing it more now. Doing these posts have drug up so many memories, and I am realizing how lucky I've been, and how much fun I've had...and how many people that I still care about are in my life (and more every week it seems...weird, but true) It's monumental, yet subtle and beautiful and a little private.

And everyday, I walk down the same streets I've been on most of my life, near the same landmarks, that remind me of the same stories, and I have to smile...

Because, you know...
life is really amazing.

22 February 2007

I Had The Time of My Life...

The Time Of Our Lives...

That was the prom theme...I did not remember having the time of my life, but I suppose it was fun...a few things have been more fun since then (I think) What is it with prom? I mean, it's this HUGE deal when you're in school...so much so that I actually had to scout out someone to take me.

Yup, you're right, I knew no one would ask me, so I asked someone I thought had a bit of a crush on me.

And I offered to pay.
Nice huh?

That seems to be how things in my life have often been...and I'm sitting here thinking wouldn't it be nice if just once in a while, someone would have taken me out and payed for it? Yes, yes, I suppose that it's not very enlightened or modern of me, but sometimes, one likes to be pampered and taken care of by someone other than oneself...

Oh dear, where was I?

Ah yes, the prom...I had my dress made for me from a vintage pattern from the 50's which I loved (and never being over 100 pounds then, looked quite cute in it. sigh.) Plus, being the 80's, I did indeed talk my date into wearing a matching pink cumber bun and tie with his tux (tee-hee...I love how styles and fashions change!) And, I went with a lovely gentleman named Tim, and while we did have a fun time, like I said, I don't think it was quite the time of my life...but whatever. We started the evening by going out to a dinner with a large group of friends (and come to think of it, a lot of them went with people they may not have if they'd been asked as well) and then to a little pre-party where we drank quite a bit of alcohol (sorry mom) quickly so that we could drive up to the hotel (after all...this was the first prom that was ever held at the then Sheraton, on the hill) before the alcohol could really kick in, and we could be accused of drunk driving (high school students are smart aren't they? Besides, I don't even think it affected either of us because we were so nervous about being caught, we didn't drink enough...I've always thought of myself as a rebel without a clue) and had our pictures taken, and then we walked into the room...

...and I immediately stepped on a piece of chocolate cake and ruined my shoes.
They were those dyable heels too.

I remember the dance floor was too small for the amount of people that were attending, and what were they doing with chocolate cake anyway?! Or punch? I swear most of the girls that were there were pregnant by that time anyway (small town...not much else to do) Although, I'll bet the music was probably good...after all, it was the 80's...

And, here I am a couple of years later, same location...but not the prom, and enjoying myself with a then crush. If I remember correctly, Peppermint Schnapps was involved here (it's a good thing I was never pregnant) See how happy I am that someone actually showed interest in me?

Oh brother...

what a strange life I've led...with a sometimes low self esteem. It's a wonder that I'm so normal now (tee-hee) Well, at least I'm in a little different place, and I can actually recognize more of my worth, and with practice and time, I'm even getting better at that...although, don't get me wrong, I still have enthusiasm and lots of smiles when I play with boys, or drink heavily in hotel ball-rooms (sorry again mom)

And...on a little different note, I would like to take this opportunity to wish myself and Snap-Snap a very happy 12th anniversary!

21 February 2007

...Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun

Oh yes, I remember this...

first of all, me, sporting the fabulous Bongo Hawaiian print jeans (yes, they had just started making clothes that year) that my mother and I shared...because we both happened to be the same size and liked the same clothes (same sized shoes as well, and this wasquite good for the budget, as the clothes in the 80's were a little pricey...we saved big bucks on Guess jeans you know, and we're only 19 years apart, she was younger then, than I am now at this point in her life...totally weird to think about) which made it quite fun, and we both liked the same music too...The shortie hair with a oversized v-necked sweater from Express...worn over a tank top, of course...It's odd to see all of these pictures, because I've been under the impression that I had a bob haircut for most of my life...hmmmm...

And all the girlies (one holding a Pound Puppy as well) we're in the process of throwing a surprise party for a good friend, for her 16th birthday. Now, it was also my 16th birthday that week too.

No one remembered.
No one wished me a happy birthday.

Only the members of my family (hence the new outfit) And here we all are, me especially, after blowing up at my mom in tears that week and storming out of the room because I was so very hurt...

What I don't know at this point, is under the signs all over the house that say "Happy Birthday Heidi" are ones that say "Happy Birthday Sadie" We yelled this huge "surprise" for her and really had her confused and amazed (because she thought she was coming to my party) opened presents, ate cake and then went downstairs...then slowly, everyone went upstairs, and there I was all alone...walking up the stairs, trying to figure out where everyone had gone to...and


How dense...OK, I'd rather think I'm naive, or trusting...And...Oh, how fun it was too. I was floored, and surprised...my mother had dropped by a cake that morning and was totally in on it, and almost let it slip that week because she was so sad for me. I was just so amazed...because I'd had no idea whatsoever, even though everyone was sure I'd caught on...We opened presents, again, ate cake, again and spend the rest of the evening watched scary movies (actually, I did not because I HATE scary movies so very much, and spent all night staring straight ahead...I can't tell you how many times this has happened in my life) which is probably a bummer, seeing as there must have been some sort of definitive Brat Pack movie out then we could have all enjoyed rather than WesCraven...but no matter. And then proceded to have a wonderful sleepover.

It is still one of the most memorable birthdays I've ever had. Well, good memorable, some of the ones that have followed have been memorable for other reasons. No one has gone through that much trouble since then...

Thanks guys!

20 February 2007

Jenny You Got My Number...

Ha ha...you never quite know who's going to turn up in this 80's flashback do you? Moving from left to right is My Pal Amy, Arthur, my ex-husband John, Suz and Bob...

These were our school uniforms.

Ok, it was Halloween. I was not invited to this party (Tricia did not like me, I believe...probably because I was so much cuter than her...well, maybe not...) But, I whined and whined at some point in my life to Amy to give me this picture because John was in it, and I had HUGE crush on him.

We did actually date in high school...for a week (titter) He was the first boy that ever kissed me. And it was not that good, I'm sorry to say, so later in life, when he leaned in for that first kiss before we got madly serious with each other there was a lot of "uh-oh" and "I hope..." going through my head. It was fine then...and it lasted for 12 years (our relationship, not the kiss...that's a bit on the overkill don't you think?)

Ms. Suz is actually on her way up this weekend with hubby in tow...and My Pal Amy and I will be joining them for dinner, of which I am quite excited, as we finally get to meet her husband.

Arthur is somewhere avoiding me...I just know it.

And I think I may have seen Bob this year at the holiday time in Wal-mart.

Now, My Pal Amy is a most wonderfullest friend. We have been cohorts for lo these many years (which I find odd, since neither of us is aging, and she still looks like a fairy, except she doesn't dress so flashy anymore) She is the girl that has seen and heard it all from me. She's one of my main confidants...and we have shared our huge lives with each other...growing apart sometimes, and growing closer...but usually growing forward together (we were also on the flag team and in the band together...we did indeed go to band camp and we lettered...I have the Letterman's sweater to prove it!) We tend to be a little telepathic with each other at times, and often, we don't need to have complete conversations, and sometimes the people around us get a little annoyed, as we don't tend to finish our sentences out loud, yet have perfect communication with each other. Her family is like my second family, I spent so much time at her house during school...and now during holidays and whenever I have a little extra time.

I think a lot about how rare it is to have someone in my life that has known me so well for so long...that I never have to explain anything to because...well, she already knows. There's no background to fill in, and there's nothing she doesn't know. I was once amazed when we were out dancing (one of our favorite past things to do together) when I stopped to think about how many years and how many times we've actually done that activity together...how many holidays, and hopes and dreams and secrets...all the walkies and outings and dinners (and drinkies) we've shared. We both have had these separate lives, and these amazing seperate experiences, but when we come together, no matter when that is, it's quite fun (and comfortable)...

...Thank you Pal, for all the life smiles,
for it would have never been the same journey without you!

19 February 2007

I'll Stop the World and Melt With You...

In the spirit of most of my past dropping into my present life within the last few weeks (and me, tying up so many loose ends and having the opportunity to put down a ton of heavy baggage that I didn't even know I was hanging on to, or carrying around) I thought I'd do a little flash back picture and posting...just so I can remember how I got here, and what has shaped me (maybe it's a little searching as well for me...you see, I am quite amazed at the opportunities that have been popping in...amazed, confused and a lot of wondering, why? and what is this supposed to all mean, if anything at all?)

I thought I'd start with the D-man...one of my bestest friends, and someone I had a crush on for so many years, I don't know if I could count them all. We met in junior high (we have the same last name, so we always had our lockers right on top of one another) when he would kindly wait until I opened my locker and then promptly shut it before I could get anything in or out of it...as my mom explained to Rozz the other day, "girls like that sort of thing"...to be annoyed by boys. Sometime in high school, I reluctantly lent him a pencil with the agreement that he would never bother me again. He never did (don't get me wrong, I consider this man to be the closest I will ever have to a brother...so he does bother me a bit from time to time...but I'm sure the feeling is mutual!) We had several classes together, I helped him with his senior term paper, we went to movies, parties, listened to music (the title to this post, from Modern English, I remember specifically playing in the car stereo all the time one summer) celebrated birthdays, graduations, and hung out a lot together. Then I realized at some point that I had a crush on him...

oh boy.

I like to think that it was many years of bad timing on our parts that did not result in us actually having a more intimate relationship...but, I had the thought last night as I was driving home from dropping him off that maybe the reason we never got it together, was because we needed to be extremely close friends instead...and that if we ever dated, I could never truly appreciate who he is. We've spent endless hours talking to each other about almost everything you could think about, we went to college together (where he would come into my room and eat all my chocolate, because I was always talking about my weight...he still does that, and we would spend the weekends in countless slumber parties, watching movies late into the evenings) we went to each other's weddings (and were there for each other through our divorces) and now I'm lucky to get to spend more time with him as he's visiting for a month...and we're helping each other through even more life transitions...bouncing ideas off of each other, hiking and walking together, text messaging silly things to one another, playing with the computer (he's quite the computer savvy guy so not only is my computer functioning better now, but we've been watching crazy videos and downloading music) and going out to eat chicken wings (a lot...seriously he's suggesting it at least every other day...it was recently brought to my attention that he may have a slight chicken fetish)

I'd like to say that we're older and wiser, but I think we're older and sillier...I have laughed so much in the last 24 hours, my sides actually hurt...it's this total abandon laughter that is contageous, and both of us have to just sit and give into it...tears streaming down our faces and everything (I can't help but think how many years we're adding to our lives...and in the same breath, what am I going to do when he goes back to his regular life that doesn't happen here?) When I was first going through my divorce, I was worried that I would never find anyone else that "got" me...now I realize that my life is so very full of people that get me. Even after all these years...

especially after all these years.

...and I was thinking late last night, as we went out so the D-man could have yet another round of chicken wings (his second for the day) when we leaned into each other and linked arms to help support each other (as we've done countless times in the past, because that's what friends do, don't they?) mostly so we wouldn't fall while we were walking in the dark...how very lucky I am to have such a wonderful friend...

How very lucky indeed...

16 February 2007

Wrapping It Up...

It's over...this week.

And what a week it was. I started on a new regimen that I am now calling "Operation Reduce My Tushie" This consists of walking and hiking both, depending on what the day calls for...plus a little dancing around the living room as well. There is this hill in my neighborhood that I walk up...then down, turn around and do it again. I felt so good yesterday, that I almost ran up the hill, which is a bit unusual for me as I don't ever run. Ever. If I was being chased by a murderer, I wouldn't run, but stand and face them and state, "look, if you're going to kill me, go ahead...I'm not going to get all tired and sweaty and then die..." So, this up and down the hill thing has resulted in quite a sore tushie. Which means it's working, right?!

I had a lovely dinner out with a friend last night. We solved most of the worlds problems. So rest easy. Then, I stopped by Dina's to help with her vanity mirror. She bought a lovely vintage vanity, and promptly broke the mirror off, and as with most vintage vanities, the mirrors, while lovely are a little unwieldy to put on by yourself. It was a little much with both of us smacking...I mean, gently setting it in the right spot so it fits. We also solved the worlds problems.

And I got to view my beautiful Valentine she made me, but it's still tacky...Meaning the design is just wonderful, the paint is still a little wet. She was a little worried that I was going to want to throw it away...silly Dina!

OK my sweeties, I am off to enjoy my weekend, and I hope you do the same. I had a crazy idea to have a party tomorrow night, but by the end of the day had talked myself out of it. I am having this feeling that I want to celebrate something...maybe next weekend...that way I will have all week to clean up this place!

Plus, things look more doable the farther away they are, don't they?

15 February 2007


Oh yes, I was feeling the love this year...I'm telling you, people were coming out of the woodwork to wish me a Happy Valentine's day...

This lovely pile of presents from my mother:

Including 6 candles, a small notepad, 3 glass hearts (which were hung on my bed immediately) 2 organic chocolates...plus some outrageous vegan, wheat free, refined sugar free treats (always a wonderfu switch from the refined sugar types of stuff) and a lovely handmade Valentine from Ms. Rozz! All stuffed in the incredible heart shaped pillow, with the pocket in the back, which I immediately said, "looks like Zakka!" that my mother made from an old sweater...

Then a package from my father, containing these 2 sock beauties!

A wonderful package from Jolene that I won at her blog...full of sweet stuffed animals, lots of beautiful paper goods, and handmade cards...a pen (I LOVE pens...you need to know that I have a weird affinity for pens of all kinds, and have been known to sit and look at pens for quite some time at Staples or even CostCo. They excite me so very much, and I really have to force myself not to buy them sometimes. I love pens...but mostly Med. point ones...and this one fits the bill!) A sweet Christmas ornament made by one of the boys, a slew of buttons, Altoids and chocolate!!!

When I came home from work, I found this sweet little surprise pile by the door...a lovely card from my friend Amy (she's a card kind of gal, so it's always a treat to open an envelope from her) complete with some sock monkey socks and a Monkey Love book. We both adore sock monkeys of all kinds...I hand delivered one of my Valentine's to her yesterday morning, and she loved it so much, that she said she could probably sell them in her card store. That made me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy...so, I may be going into card production mode soon (wow...a real live artist)

A good friend stopped by the shop and gave me a handful of chocolates because he was worried I wouldn't have a Valentine (little did he know) Lot's of emails, and comments from family and blogging friends...

A huge dinner out with the D-Man, Dina, and my special little Valentine Niko (who sat next to me...and generously shared his chocolates) A little bag of lovely goodies from Dina...complete with a pair of her handmade ear rings to commemorate the 80's, I feel like Madonnna in them! (my special art from her is still drying, and I am excited to get my hot little hands on it...but I'd rather not stick to it) Also, you'll notice the large and wonderful vintage pin that says "cocktails anyone?" I adore this pin...although, I am wondering if wearing it would make someone think twice about actually giving me a cocktail? No matter, it's still a fabulous pin!
I was able to give her the Valentine I made for her...and darned if I didn't bring the camera to document it, and I totally forgot to take a picture of it before, so you'll have to wait to see it. She's the one who helped put the fire under my behind and get me crackin' on the creativity (16 cards in all I made to give away...OK, after the 5 I kept for myself)

...And a special phone call from someone who is close to my heart to wish me a Happy Valentine's day...

I was especially touched by the fact that so many of my friends and family hand-made their sentiments to me. One of the recipients of my cards said, "I haven't gotten a hand made Valentine since grade school" It's wonderful in this time of I gotta' buy flowers and candies and jewelry and stuff...that we can connect with our own tallents and make gifts and make gestures that mean more than any store bought gift...I guess I had forgotten that when I was at the mall drooling over all the candy stuffs and jewelry the other day
(oops, sometimes I buy into all the societal programming, you'll have to excuse me, and I hang my head in shame for that)
And if you really care to notice...I did actually get all the chocoalte and jewelry, it's just so much more meaningful when given this way...

All in all, it was quite a special and surprising day, and I can't remember the last time I had such a lovely and thoughtful Valentine's Day!

A huge thanks to everyone who made it that way for me...

14 February 2007

Sing me melodies of...


...And lastly, these little lovelies (including the one from yesterday's post) are the ones I absolutely fell in love with, and I am keeping.

I enjoyed creating all of these Valentines so very much...and I am looking forward to making even more pictures with ephemera again soon...
then my walls will be filled with MY art...

Set 7

"he was there,
he spoke to her in the tone of the mourning dove
he looked straight into Mara's blue eyes,
something he had never done before.
She nodded her head thoughtfully
and gave him her hand."


...and they walked through time together

"I am surprised you are not afraid
I think I shall frighten you yet.
he found her blue eyes fixed upon him
smiling and unafraid
and he came back and found her
smiling still"


And she...
was not afraid...

Set 8

"He always came upon her by surprise.
he bubbled up from the fountain,
he leaped down from the treetops,
he walked toward her right out of the sunrise
He even quite forgot to be bad when he was with her,
His chief delight now was to make smile
the little girl"


...and smile she did...

" a great mist suddenly filled the garden
and for the first time in her life she felt afraid.
Then the mist cleared and as she looked,
she saw a handsome young man who took her by the hand
and spoke her name softly.
Then she knew all she had longed to know-
why the world was made
and what the wind says when it blows."


Oh Yes

Now I'm off to open my Valentine's Day packages...one from my father, and one from Jolene, dance around the living room to my new copy of Hotel Costes 8 (wonderful CD...it transforms the house into quite the dance club) and enjoy whatever Valentine's Day surprises come my way...

I'll keep you posted!

Happy Valentine's Day!

13 February 2007

Come Live With Me...

...And be my love,
and we shall all the pleasures prove...

Or, you can walk on by the temporary Sees Candy shop at the mall and see me crying hysterically over a heart shaped box of Nuts and Chews. No really. There I was minding my own business and exchanging a pair of shoes for the Rozz (not me, I have enough...OK not enough...but no shoes for me today) and decided to breeze in the little shop for a few ideas for the holiday, and the 1 lb. box jumped out at me. I don't know what was worse today, seeing all the diamond jewelry and knowing I would not receive any? Or knowing that I would not get a heart shaped box of nuts and chews? I mean, the nuts and chews are the bestest of all the Sees in the world...and I suppose I could've bought them for myself, but I don't really need to spend the $...and I would rather receive them from someone. So, now I will not be going into any shops until V-day is officially over...Besides, I'm still saving up for the special gift I will be giving to myself in April...

(yeah, yeah whatever)

Plus, I did go thrifting after that, and bought a pair of Large loungy/exercise pants...and I really no longer fit in a Large...but probably need a Medium (so I don't really need any nuts and chews...OK, how about a dozen roses instead?) and I feel fabulous about that...even though, I don't want to eat any food anymore because I'm scared about putting the pounds back on (no, not healthy...but, don't worry, I'm working with it...) Plus, I have been walking and being active more lately (helps with the extra break-up energy) climbing Thumb Butte yesterday with the D-man and treating myself to 4 miles (and my heavenly Nano=alone time and good music) at Peavine today. And when I got home today, there was a package from my father waiting for me
(thank you Dad...I'm waiting to open it until Wednesday)

Set 4

"catch me!
catch me!
or I shall fall
come near with your wings"

"I wish I could play from morning till night
all the year around.
This wish grew in his heart
he longed to see it realized
magic and his own clever mind
could solve such a

Set 5

"There was no friend like her
the girl who was maid of all
she was the most obliging servant
Jane had ever known"

"She pressed the precious Valentine
to her lips"

Set 6

"she was beautiful

"until, in his dreams,
he opened his eyes.
He danced with the daffodils
and sang with the birds and the brook
"what a beautiful world it is"
he realized that he,
had made it so."

(this one is one I'm keeping. On the back I wrote,
"...he had found his rhythm"

PS...is there a reason the Violent Femmes song, Blister in the Sun is now being used for a Wendy's commercial?

12 February 2007

Valentines Cards...

...And a heartfelt thanks to everyone who's left comments about the heartbreak. I am so very touched by the thoughts and also the stories that everyone has shared. It's helped me so much, especially to remember that we're all a part of the human family, and have so many shared experiences. I don't usually get too personal, or haven't in the past here on the blog (usually because the people I want to talk about read this thing...hahaha) but I am realizing more and more that if I open up and share my life, it also helps everyone else around me (oh...and me too!) And while there may be some people in my life who think that my latest display of emotion is not worthy of the relationship I was in...I am experiencing this part of my life exactly as I should...sometimes in the fetal position crying, sometimes reflecting upon memories, sometimes laughing...but mostly living, my life, on my terms...whatever they may be in the moment.

So, thank you...

Now, onto the Valentine's project I've been working on for quite some time now...or the hallucinogen producing (due to the Sharpies and Rubber Cement I used to make these things) Valentine's day cards for friends and family. I made a whole slew of these cards...so, I think I will just post a few a day leading up to the holiday...

I used a vintage book of stories for these cards, and then blacked out words along the page to create a Valentines message...and used glittery red hearts to accent each piece, and clouds and skies paper as well...Plus on the backs of each, I copied a favorite saying of mine, and embroidered on fabric hearts...and a special message to the recipient. Most of the backs of the cards are the same, except for the ones that I kept for myself (I really fell in love with some of these, and perhaps I knew what was coming and knew I wouldn't have a special Valentine this year...so, I had to be my own?) I really wanted these pieces to be a double piece of art work...and for the ones I'm keeping, I've encased them in a floating frame that showcases each side, so I can leave them up year around...as I have absolutely none of my own artwork hanging in my home! Plus, that was Dina's and I assignment for each other...to create art for our homes (and to give away)

Set 1

"dear, dear
I have been wanting so much
have you"

"her valentine
the vivid lady in the heart of lace

will love outloud"

Set 2

"But Valentine's Day was a happy thought"

"Psyche was almost the goddess she was named for,
she was happy!
and pretty"

Set 3

"I want you
we could play together
and have lots of fun"

"Evelyn and Jane threw their arms around each other
in delight
they looked around
Jane smiled whimsically"

And on the back of these ones:

"Be my valentine?"

fabric hearts embroidered on...

my signature

and my favorite saying:

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more."
-Erica Jong

09 February 2007

Is There a Light at the End...

Swollen eyes and sniffles aside, can I just brush over the heart break and pretend it didn't happen? This close to Valentines Day? Can I just express how hard it is to walk away from something? Even if you really want it? Especially if you really want it? Even if it may not be the best thing for you right now?

Because, it is.

Hopes, dreams, fantasies...fluffy special feelings, little smiles and winks, the throw your arms around yourself because you know something is so good. The wishing and hoping and little impromptu dance steps and humming under your breath for no reason at all. And the crushing feeling when it all comes crashing down. When you feel like you have to walk away from someone...And you watch them walk away from you...


And wondering if it's supposed to happen this way? Wondering if it really is all for the best? The second guessing yourself and all the feelings that come with that?

(no matter what your friends and therapist say)

And, watching the sun come up the next day...hauling yourself out of bed to go through the motions...realizing that life indeed does go on...

and on...
and on...

And, finding a little smile on my face from time to time, and a little lightness sneaking in as well. And a little gratefulness for the chance to get to do it all...


Even though the thought of trying exhausts and overwhelms me right now.

So, I am working on a special little surprise for myself, a little something to commemorate where I've come from...how far I've been. A special little reminder. It's super secret...
(ok, not really...but it's going to take some saving up and a little time, so you'll have to wait with me until about April)

And...slowly remembering that sometimes the most traumatic things that have ever happened to me have happened during the month of February. I forget from year to year...which just proves it's not my thoughts that are doing this one...but some weird February energy thing perhaps?


07 February 2007


...A broken heart.

Brought to my knees once again...

I will be back soon.

06 February 2007

It's An 80's Flashback...

Well, the theme of people from my past popping in is still in full force...I checked my email yesterday and got a letter from a really special person I knew in Junior High/beginning of high school. She was one of those people who influenced me to no end...all my friends think I'm super funny (yeah, well you have to meet me in person I guess) but this gal really took the cake. She used to make us crack up to the point of tears all the time! My mom and I have fondly reminisced about her for years, always wondering what happened to her...and here she is, in my email. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.

And sending pictures from that time period...

Which have been making me giggle hysterically since yesterday. That's me in the fabulous lavender quilted down jacket. I now wonder, as I have before, what my life would have been like if she would have been able to stay in it instead of moving away. But, you'd never believe how parallel our lives have been since...we are interested in the same things, and both even color our hair red (as you can see, by these pictures, I am indeed a natural blond...I started dying my hair in college, and people started taking me more seriously...because I got super smart after I died it you know!)

I think I will try to dig up some of my pictures from that time too, since I am totally inspired, and the universe seems to be smacking me upside the head with my past as of late...

...I keep thinking, wow, I wonder what I'm supposed to be learning or cleaning up or remembering from then? My mom says it makes her wonder if I'm gonna' die. Thanks mom.

I can not get over how skinny I was...I mean, yes I only weighed 100 lbs. all the way through high school (with a severe dip due to health problems, down to about 89 if you can believe that) but still!

And, I leave you with the last picture...me in a pair of 2-tone Flashdance PJ's standing in my childhood kitchen. I think my ass looks fabulous in these by the way...

...pantie lines and all!


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