14 January 2007

Me...unplugged

Ok, apparently it is the end of National DeLurking week (and I almost missed it...actually, I thought delurking meant for my readers to show themselves...shows how much I know)
Who Am I? (the esoteric question of a lifetime...I'll just fill you in up till now)

My name is Sadira Kathleen, I am 36 years old, an Aries...I turned 36 on a hillside in Italy on Easter Sunday...apparently the Pope and I share the same birthday. I don't know if anyone sang him Happy Birthday. I have a cat named Meena. I've lived in the same town for 26 years, graduated from the local high school (go Badgers...88rocks!) and went to college in the same state. I have a sister who lives in CA, and visits about once a year, we are 7 years apart. My grandmother, mother and niece live in the same town as I do...I am close with my family, but closer with my mother and niece than my grandmother...she turned 93 this year. My mother and niece both have birthdays this month. My father lives with his wife in CA...he took me on my Europe trip last year...we both enjoy truffles and Paul Frank.

I married the first boy I ever kissed (7 years later) and a sort-of high school sweetheart. We were together 12 years, and were divorced last year. I loved my family-in law, but have had limited contact with them. The divorce was bittersweet, and I don't really talk about it much on the blog...out of respect for my ex, as there were "circumstances" (aren't there always?) and it was one of the worst and best things that has ever happened to me. I lost a good friend...but also ton of weight (see what I mean?). We did not have children, although, I would love to do that with someone very much (and worry that I may run out of time). I haven't dated a lot in my life, and have noticed that I jump in with both feet whenever I do anything...I am usually enthusiastic and excited...and sometimes loose myself (and am wondering if that is a bad thing?).

I am having a hard time trusting myself lately...and have been walking around crying (like the scenes in "Something Has To Give") and have given up ...and am now just letting myself cry (the cat is semi-worried). I am learning how to identify when a boundary of mine has been crossed, and am practicing communicating that with the people in my life (sometimes I'm discouraged) I have a hard time saying NO, and am also learning how to take gentle pauses to think about whether or not I want to do something rather than just saying YES.

I have some really wonderful friends I have known many years, and am thankful for them each and every day. I have owned a fun resale clothing store in town for almost 12 years, and am amazed whenever I think of that fact...I own my 1926 craftsman style house, in a sort of historic district as well...and am lucky enough to be able to walk to work. I love to sew and paint (and am finding myself turned on by flat paintbrushes more and more lately...and feel the need to pick them up and start painting more) and knit...embroider, and love to be creative. I love vintage clothes and fabrics and linens. I love to read. I love Sock Monkeys. I love to take bubble baths. I love to talk to people. I love to dance...and do it often in my living room. I journal daily and meditate to help keep myself balanced...sometimes I talk out loud to God (in between all the crying and chocolate...sometimes during) And sometimes I make sense out of my life...just in time for it to change all again...

Who Are You?

4 comments:

sulu-design said...

What a wonderfully thorough and open declaration! I feel like I've gotten to know you through your blog, but of course there are things that this forum could never communicate. Thanks for letting us in!

capello said...

crying is good. it releases toxins from your bloodstream. the only other way to get those toxins is out is by excersising and sweating them out.

and delurking is for your readers who don't normally comment to stop and say "hi."

and i'd love to see more of your house. i love old houses, especially craftsman styles!

velvet brick said...

brave you are....

I love the town you live in....my parents were raised there and I spent my summers at Iron Springs...my grandparents were the caretakers there for many years...

love to head up the hill to your stomping ground...

kudos to you and your beautiful life!

Jolene George said...

I love that you share so much of yourself.
I hope that one day you can get to a truly happy place where you don't need to cry so much...or maybe just cry for happy things. I know I shouldn't speak after the week I've had. I so appreciated the email you sent me. You're a sweetheart! Thank you!

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