04 September 2008

Living Inside My Observant Mind...

My mother and I have often remarked that it is more interesting in our heads than the real world. Am I suggesting that we are smarter than the average bear? No.

What I'm referring to is the simple fact that we are a very creative people...whom sometimes jump to conclusions rather than paying full attention.

What this results in, often the things we think we see bring us up short...stop us in our tracks and make us laugh out loud. (Just as an aside though, we also happen to remember the theme songs to favorite shows and movies and cartoons...)

This morning while breezing into the bank before work, I glanced towards the window that houses all the What's Happening around town and saw a poster that said: March For Babies. It had two tiny baby feet stamped on it.

The slogan part of my mind immediately put the tag line "because they can't march for themselves!" in the poster...underneath those tiny little feet (which might have looked better if they were prints of tiny little track shoes instead...I mean, they're babies for goodnessake...how can they march?) I walked into my normal teller bent over laughing...

"hahahaha...March For Babies?! But, what if I'm against babies? I would like to take the stand March Against Babies please..."

"I know right!?!?! Sadira...Do you know what March For Babies even is?"

"No. I can't get past the slogan."

Apparently it's the new WalkAmerica slogan for March of Dimes...which in essence is a walk to prevent birth defects. Ok...Now I feel terrible. I would like to go on record as saying that I am not at all against babies or their birth defects...but the slogan? I mean, we all know what WalkAmerica is and we all know about the March of Dimes. Who decided to change the slogan at this late date? And who in heavens name came up with March For Babies?

Then again, maybe it's only me who laughed hysterically and the rest of the world would take the time to read the poster all the way through.

And then again, this morning while I was browsing the Library Book-Sale, I read the spine of a book that said:

"The Bathroom Secrets of the Master Chefs"

Dude. The Bathroom Secrets of the Master Chefs?!?! That is gross...I mean, is this going to be another one of those expose things that makes you not want to go outside of your house? I already get all sorts of grief from people who watched that one show where they took a black light into hotel rooms to show you all the nasty stains that they don't clean up between guests...

And I really like staying in hotels. Trouble is, now I have to do it alone because everyone who saw that show is all freaked out...

I mean, what is the big bathroom secret of a Master Chef anyway?

He doesn't wash his hands before he cooks your food?

Or is it something even more gross than that?

Why would I want to know that could even be a possibility? What is with these expose people anyway? I mean, I enjoy eating out here and there as well, now I have to be scared of that as well...It's going to get to the point where it's not safe to walk outside and interact with people...

Oh wait. It says Bedroom Secrets...ahhhhh...well then.

You mean someone wrote an entire book about what Master Chefs do in the bedroom?

I'm totally in the wrong profession...

(thank you google for your crazy images)


Lois Grebowski said...

on the road to the lake I came across a sign and started ranting... "Dog furniture? Who would want dog furniture? Why would anyone sell dog furniture of all things???!!!!"

Hubby laughed his hoo-hah off... it really read LOG furniture!

Wende said...

Heh... I constantly misreading things. And you know, I think my versions are better, anyhow. :D

Bobbypin Bandit said...

we are so kindred it is almost frightening!!

Chickenbells said...

Lois - I KNOW...and dogs can't even read!

Wende - Yes, and it's so much funnier...

Bobbypin Bandit - I would like to think it's because I'm soooo creative that these things keep happening to me...it sure beats the alternative!

She sure is strange! said...

Why is there a banana on the cover of the book???? Ick!!



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