06 April 2007

Necessity is the Mother of...


Right? Ok then, why do I feel like a dork? (I must admit though, that this feeling of not quite fitting in to the norm is one that I should be comfortable with by now...I have a nasty habit to strive to be normal, to try to fit in...I've had it my whole life, which was always a little hard because, as I mentioned before...my parents were hippies. What I did not mention was that my dad also travelled a lot, and I ended up with some rather traditional children's outfits from Tibet that they made me...I mean, that I got to wear as a child. All I really wanted was bangs. Bangs and polyester. Bangs and polyester and a hamburger...yeah, no red meat either as a child) AND then again, why strive to be normal? I should just accept who I am and make my peace with it...I mean, people usually think I'm pretty great, and I'm learning to appreciate myself more as well.

Ok...what was I saying? OH YES...yesterday was more body detox. This time, lung stuff...which is where I have quite a bit of problems anyway historically (but this lung thing seems to be stemming from all the stuff I uncovered last week as well) You know, the body is so amazing. Here I was at the age of 10, experiencing this amazing traumatic life event, and I didn't know how to deal with it then...so I stuffed it, had this wound...in both my emotional development (hence the hysterical crying as of late...and the anger too) and then, around that time of the tender age of 10, I got a horrible case of pneumonia as well...so, now as I revisit and finally heal this emotional trauma...my lungs are triggered as well and remanifest the illness of yore as a tight band around my chest yesterday, preventing me from breathing deeply and causing coughing almost every breath...hence, the detox of the lungs (which according to my wise mother, is where you detox a lot of things anyway, including liver stuff) man, this healing stuff is something...on all levels!

WAIT...I promised you invention up there in the post title didn't I? Well, I'll tell you, I got some lovely Clarks brand shoes at the thrift...totally new mind you, and I was wearing the black ones yesterday to work. Now, why they are different than the brown ones I don't know, because they're the same exact style...and yet, they hit my toes differently.

Painfully differently as a matter of fact.

I looked down after walking all around thinking I would spy a blister, and what I saw made me a little ill to my tummy.

My poor bloody and mangled big toe.
On both feet.

So...I don't have any band-aids at the shop...I took my little kitty paper towels, cut them up, folded them over into little strips and taped them to my toes. Yes, little strips of paper towels taped to my feet with scotch tape.

I'm such a dork...

Wow, see how life is a huge circle?

In life...Recognizing and healing past trauma emotionally/crying and screaming and lung detox (finally) and in this post...taping paper towels to my feet/inventive dork.

Yeah, I need the weekend off...


Tonya said...

Why be normal? What is normal? Don't we all love you because you're unique? Yes. You are normal, normal Sadira. And if you were someone else what would we all do? Just like your memory of my cute little 2 year son (14 years ago) shopping at the K for those "docs" (I had forgotten all about that, that was such a great day to be remided of,) I have a memory of how much you loved coming over to our house when we were young to eat my moms meatloaf or was it the hamburgers? You are so original and that is a great thing. I wore polyeser, it was hot and itchy. And hey even with the papertowel bandaids your feet are still beautiful.

velvet brick said...

tender tootsies!
paper towels and all! I hope they are feeling better!

as for the 'dork' label?
not even close...

creative? yes
adorable? yes
artistic? yes
caring and fun? double yes

: )

Kathy said...

I've had experience with the paper towel/scotch tape band aides, too. Yours look much better. Especially with your nicely painted toes! :D

sulu-design said...

It's funny - a lot of kids who have "normal" childhoods long for the love, creativity, thoughtfulness, and uniqueness that it sounds like you experienced as a kid. Funny how it's so hard for us to see things from others' perspectives, right? 'Cause I certainly don't think any of us loyal readers see Ms. Chickenbells as dorky - and most of us wonder how you possibly could see yourself that way!


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