30 May 2007

In The Perfect Place...

I've been thinking a lot lately about where I'm at.

Or more accurately...where I've landed.


At one point in the description of sorts, about myself in this blog...I wrote, "I am not exactly in the place I ever thought I would be in my life..." I'm wondering now if I should erase it? I'm wondering if it sounds whiny? You see, I started this blog sometime after my divorce from a man, whom I was naive enough to think was my soul mate. This is, of course, before I changed my definition of soul mate to include anyone who's ever meant anything to me in my life...or anyone who's brought any illumination to my journey. Cause' honey, if we only get one chance at a soul mate, and that was it...

I'm screwed.

And...it took a while. A while of crossing my arms and stomping around in frustration and anger pursing my lips and pouting mostly because this wasn't how I pictured it turning out.

This was not my life.
No sir.

Only, it was.
And, it is.

I had no choice but to embrace my moment. To stop, in my tracks and change my direction...to finally reinvent myself again. What's the worst that could happen? To me, it already did. Now sometimes, I chuckle. I chuckle because I've landed on another side of this thing called life. Once I stopped struggling and sat down and faced it, stared it down and blew it a raspberry...well, it changed. I've recently slowed down and started to look around at where I've landed.

I've come to realize something,
just because I didn't plan this...I didn't predict this part...heck, I didn't even know it was coming,
doesn't mean it's bad or wrong...
It means I get to experience something I didn't know existed for me.

Last night when I was at my mother's and we were having this conversation (again) there is this part of me that yells, "There must be a reason for all of this...for what has transpired!" (all the while shaking my fist to the heavens) This was supposed to happen, right? Cause' there are no refunds if it doesn't work out...No returns if it doesn't fit right...

And, perhaps
just perhaps,
this is exactly where I am supposed to be in my life...
I just didn't know it.


And, perhaps
just perhaps,
I've landed in the most perfect place of all...
right in the middle of my life.


(and for those of you who know me...and are perceptive, you may have realized something is a little different in my life lately...more lightheartedness and fun...and I've been out and about with someone, but not mentioning names...if you skip over here...since he's "officially" outed us...lol...you'll see who I've been spending a fair amount of time with)

10 comments:

Tonya said...

I'm happy for you. What a great place to be.

Mary said...

Sounds like a lovely place to be!

Anonymous said...

Move slow Sadie. Move slow with this one......

velvet brick said...

hi friend...
loved your openess and 'discussion' of where you've been, where you are....

I am so very happy that you have lightness and joy in your life... rewards for you for having walked through the dirt....

enjoy, my friend... enoy!
VB

Wende said...

Amen! :D (from a preacher, that's a good thing. Heh.) In the midst of our transitions it can be difficult to see the beauty. Well done, you, for finding it in the chaos of change.

Now, off to clicky on this boy.

Prescott Blog said...

Roses are red, violets be blue, I read your blog, and now you know it too.

Catalyst said...

I had been through one marriage and several serious romances. I had decided the "right one" was not going to come along.

SWMBO had been through two marriages and several romances and had reached the same conclusion.

Then we met. We married 89 days later.

That was 36 years and nearly two months ago and we're still together.

Moral of the story? Never say never.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is oh, so true. I don't think we'll ever really know where our lives will take us, or where we'll take our lives for that matter. It seems like every decision, every day, takes us on a path that would have been untraveled had we made a different decision. The beauty of that is pretty incredible.

Your photos are just beautiful, especially living down here in the desert now. The greenery is so refreshing!

:) Suz

gadget said...

Hey, there's a link to my blog in this post! :)

sulu-design said...

You have seemed so upbeat recently. I'm happy for you... not just because of this fun "friend" you've got, but because you seem to be coming to terms with a lot of important stuff that you've grappled with for a while. Good for you. Enjoy the peace that comes with it!

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