SO...I've been in a bit of a weird space, and I thought I'd punish myself further by not blogging today, or blogging about some deep stuff that's been going through my head...but then I realized I'd be punishing you by doing either of those things (har-har) And, all of those thoughts have been racing through my head while tripping through my morning...also finding me tripping through my bedroom, where I spied one of my latest thrift acquisitions wadded up...I mean, waiting patiently for it's turn in the wash.
First of all, when the Thrifts put out Halloween costumes, it often means super groovy vintage items they have no idea what else to do with. Which is supergoodnews for those of us who thrive on the vintage and bizarre...Last week one of my thrifts started in on the Halloween costumes.I scored this vintage 7-11 shirt.
Oh man...seriously, is this thing cool or what?
It has the original name tag on it, and on the lower left hand pocket a button that says "Thank Goodness For 7-11" or some such nonsense, with "VINE" in large letters, and the name "Doug" on one of those sticky plastic things. It made me think of my friend Doug (who's never worked for 7-11 as far as I know) and I thought of sending it to him, but I won't...because I'm selfish like that.
For the $4 price tag hanging on this evidence of convenience store memorabilia, I was humming excitedly under my breath (please remind me of this the next time I complain there's too much stuff in the house) as I took it up to the counter.
Then, what we shall refer to as the "stupid thrift store conversation" began:
"Oh, you found a goodie!"
"Yes, I did." (I try to play it low key, because I don't want them catching on to the fact that someone may want this stuff, and mark it sky high...it happens often at this thrift)
"Well, it has the name tag on it""Yes, it does"
"Well, let me take that off"
::blink blink::
"UM...NO."
"Well, we can't sell it with anything that identifies the store on it...it's our policy"
::blink blink::
(this is when I realize that I need to do some quick talking because I'm starting to get both panicked and impatient)
"Well, one of the reasons I'm buying it is because it has all the stuff on it...you shouldn't have put it out with things on it you do not intend to sell...besides...correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the entire shirt say 7-11 on it?"
"Well, someone (and I'm sure she wasn't naming names here) might wear it, and go into the store and pretend to be an employee!"
::blink blink::
"You can trust me...I won't do that"
(because as this point in my life, what stability I have I am holding tightly to, and do not fancy a life in prison because of impersonating a convenience store employee)
"W e l l l l ...OK" (I'm doing you a very big favor here...heavy sigh)
Yeah. A few things:
1. We don't have a 7-11 up here, which means I'm gonna' have to drive all the way down to the valley to carry out any evil plans I may have for thwarting the 7-11 corporation...and we all know how often I drive down there.
2. This is a VINTAGE shirt...don't you think that if I walk in pretending to be an employee, someones going to notice that I'm not in "proper uniform"? I mean, I've worked corporate before, and they get 9 shades of pissed if you're not in the right uniform, berate you and send you home.
3. I don't think that people who work at convenience stores are stupid...don't you think that someone would notice that they'd never seen me before, I'm not trained, I have no idea what I'm doing, and my name's probably not Doug?
What would I even take from a 7-11? A large soda and some chips? Gas? The $20 they have in the register? (I mean, they don't even keep large amounts of money where the employees can get to it anymore...according to the signs that are up everywhere)
Then again...maybe I could drive to Texas and get my friend Doug to help me in my life of crime...
7 comments:
omg what fabric is that made of?!
My brother had a shirt that looked a lot like that. Just without all of the company logos. I sent the shirt to him when he got married because he was having withdrawals, and she made a pillow out of it. That was the only compromise she could think of for even letting the shirt come into the house. So in the house it came, but she made sure he would never be able to wear it. Of course, his shirt had this hideous pattern on it, in salmon pink, and is not cool like your shirt! I would never make a pillow out of yours!
That shirt is so cool! And YAY for your fast talking to "get away" with the name tag. You'll have to keep us posted on his fate. :)
Oh thank Heaven for 7 eee-leven! Good gravy did she actually think you'd go pose as a store clerk from the 1970s? For what purpose? Snort!!
Molly
C'mon and admit it: You're ready to roll into a 7-11 and walk off with the Big Gulp machine. And a dozen nuked burritos. I don't think you look like a "Doug," though. Maybe a "Rusty" would be better.
Hysterical how stupid people can be....and I mean the thrift store person! That IS a really cool shirt alright!
that shirt is so hot!!!!!!!!!!!
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