What would make you happy right now?
This is the question I posed to a good friend of mine who is going over a shaky bridge at the moment. Learning to fill up the time. Learning what makes her tick. Learning how to make friends with who she is right now...at this moment. Bringing the past forward, dealing with life as it is now...with all the baggage in tow. I remember having to do this so many times in my life...but most often within the last 3 years. I told her that I sometimes felt as if I was a small lonely child...just starting out the process, taking very tiny steps all alone. I told her that I had to stop a lot and ask myself the question often in a very tiny voice...
What would make me happy right now?
Sometimes it was ice cream. Sometimes it was going to the park to swing...just for 15 minutes, or watching a favorite movie. Most often, it was taking a walk or a hike...and learning how to be with myself again.
Usually whatever came into my mind wasn't expensive, or time consuming, and every time I stopped to listen to that little voice within...whenever I took time to pause, I was deliriously happy with following through with such small requests...it's almost like you have a little secret and only you know about it...a special reward for the child within. It was often with amazement that I realized that it didn't take a lot to make me happy, just a few small things here and there. I think this was instrumental in getting to know myself again after my divorce, and sometimes adding a little touch of trust to a relationship I often didn't take time to nurture.
In the past.
I'm much better at it now than I once was though. I've learned that I love to hike and take walks, I love to feel the sun on my face and see how far I can stretch my body...and how good that feels. I have learned new ways of being creative...most of all, I have learned how to pause.
That is...when I remember.
Maybe all the practice of asking myself has almost become second nature, and I can really fulfill my desires without even asking the question now...Then again, maybe I've become a bit complacent and forgetful. After getting off the phone call with my friend, trying to impart some coping mechanisms that work for me (I mean, what's the point of going through everything in life if you can't help people?) ...and during the walk I was on, I stopped to ask myself when the last time I really stopped to ask myself What would make you really happy right now?
And a slow smile spread across my face. I turned to go home, and stopped myself because I'd only been on my walk for about 10 minutes, and that's what made me happy a few moments ago (sometimes my inner child has ADD) and I needed to complete this one task first (completing these tasks are very important) I came home, got out the foot soaker basin, collected my trio of Plum and mint products (foot soak, foot scrub, foot lotion) with tea tree (for tired tootsies) and Shea butter (for softness) and took the time to do the works. Soak, scrub, lotion, massage, heat, bubble, clip, file and finally, paint each toenail with a light pearlized springtime polish (the people I do yoga with will no doubt thank me) All while drinking a hot steaming cup of Sleepytime tea in my most specialist Italian tea mug. It was heaven...topped off with my official striped flopping socks and wrapped up in the feather comforter on the couch totally relaxed, renewed, and pamperd, wearing a special smile on my face...
So, What would make you happy right now?