14 March 2007

Why Oh Why...

Is it so hard for me to get to bed before 11 pm lately?

Sometimes I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off (ewwww) I feel like I have a list I need to work on, and it's starting to grow by the day (I also feel a little overwhelmed that I have to do it all myself...I know, deep breath) I'm starting to wonder if I'm trying to out run something, something that I'm avoiding in my life...a decision, a feeling, or just feeling things in general? Oh can you tell I'm up early to go to therapy tomorrow (I'm writing this Tues. night in preparation)

I know, I know...

This girl is in therapy? I'm sure you may have guessed this little fact...but if you didn't, I certainly am. It's like a special little gift to myself, part of my process right now...Like I recently said to a friend, if I don't have a process in place I get completely crazy...and while I still visit completely crazy from time to time...I don't have to live there.

Now do I?

Plus, I think that it's keeping me off prescription drugs (then again...sometimes those sound good too) So, maybe I'm preparing the night before...like a test? I was actually telling the group tonight while we were out at sushi...that I am tired of talking about the same things over and over and I don't want to bore my therapist...why do I feel like I must entertain everyone all the time? Maybe I should talk about that...the roles that I play in my life...Oh, I am just exhausted, don't mind me...

Now...on to something more exciting...

I promised you:

Ah yes...the new fabric. And can you believe that JoAnns was having a 30% off sale on all of thier novelty fabric? Oh, I tell you, I love this stuff. I have quite a bit of yardage of each (except for the small remnant of the pink skull one) and I still don't know exactly what I'm going to make out of it.

A quilt?
A bag?
A really weird Day of the Dead outfit?

I am thrilled that they even have this particular fabric (at JoAnns, up here in silly Prescott?) oh the beautiful dressed up and dancing skellingtons! I won't even mention that I ran into a friend there, and we got to talking and she brought up the fact that not too long ago she bought fabric that had panels of Our Lady of Guadalupe...no, I won't mention it at all...

Um...I did actually buy a bit more of the Mexican Fortune deck (using the fabric with the small stars and moons as a liner...and then I'm gonna' quilt the whole thing!) just enough to make a bag for me to carry all my work stuff in...because, I was having huge panic attacks about cutting into the large piece of yardage of this fabric I got the other day (probably another reason I need to be in therapy) So...now, since I don't know exactly what I want to do with all this yummy stuff...I can at least get started on a small project...so I can use a little bit of this beautiful fabric...

Man I'm weird...
(again, I think I would've come to terms with this by now)


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah...therapy...one of the very best things you can do for yourself. Bravo for working through your 'stuff'.

I love those Day of the Dead fabrics. If you ever come here, you have to go to an amazing fabric store called Stone Mountain Daughter. When I lived in Austin, I would make special trips just to visit it. It's in Berkeley!

--rusty

Tonya said...

Well you're not weird, you're right where you should be. Therepy sounds good actually so do presciption drugs. Sometimes I think I'm the only one not on them. I love the fabrics, I can't wait to see what you make.
-Tonya

thatgirldina said...

Good morning my little Peach pit!

Therapy=good. In fact, I should be seeing a therapist as well...but then again...I have you! My own personal "life-crisis assistant". You can add that title to your resume if you wish. :) Thank you for the chat last night. xoxoxox.

Lucky me, got to witness the monster fabric purchase first-hand! What fun we had! Unlike the poor cut girl at the counter. What WAS her problem!? Hopefully, some of out sillyness rubbed off on her.

As far as what to make out of all that deliciousness...I say make the really weird Day of the Dead outfit. Mostly because I am cracking up just trying to envision it.

Back to work for me. You too!
xoxo,
-deenie

wende said...

Your Joanns rocks... because ours seems to carry nothing but 80's floral throwbacks! ewww. :D

velvet brick said...

wooooooahhh.... put the sticks down, sweetie, and quit beating yourself up!! therapy ? not a dang thing wrong with that! and no..you do NOT have to entertain us! let us find YOU entertaining!

I thought you said something very healthy about it being a special little gift to yourself... truly, a healthy perspective...

I love the 'dead' fabric! I have never seen anything like that! but I must admit, I haven't been in JoAnne's in several years... love it...let its spirit guide you... it will be terrific whatever it is... how can it not be?? : )

KSV said...

I have been going through the same things lately and not falling asleep until 11. I really just chock it up to the weather. Maybe I should look into therapy? Sometimes we don't realize that we set these insanely high standards for our lives and when we try to live up to them, we end up stressed and exhausted. Like you said, it's the roles we assign ourselves. I just bought the white fabric with the skull heads on it, too!!! I went to Joanns last week bc they had $1.99 sale on all patterns!!! We were channeling the skull thing with each other while we were at the fabric store. I don't think you are weird, I think you are lovely, super duper lovely!

Michelle said...

Okay, I have some of that Day of the Dead fabric - plus a bunch of skulls. If you figure out what you're going to do with - please share! Because I keep buying it, but I have no idea what to do with it.

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