Let There Be...

Anything?!?!!

I swear to all that is holy, I have problems with light bulbs.

I do.

I have no idea why this is...but it is nonetheless. I have a college degree...I am intelligent...I am a tall super-model like beautiful woman who...(oh damn. Sorry...that was my daily affirmations...they're not working either by the way, I'm still short and I've never been paid to model) To thee I raise my fist against the sky and wonder why the light bulb drama is prevalent in my life...

Earlier this week, I got to Snap Snap...turned on the lights in the front room, and no less than 2 hours later did one of the 8ft. bulbs burn out...no warning or anything...just *poof* and it was gone. There was a customer under the light fixture that turned around to me and quickly said, "it wasn't me." Suuuure it wasn't...

Leaving me to contemplate the question, why doesn't this happen at the END of the day? So, I don't have to peer into a dark corner all day and meet people at the shop door and hand out flashlights so they can see what they're looking at?

After I closed up shop, I ran up to the hardware and purchased a new light...now, we may all remember from an earlier story (which coincidentally enough...the last time Mercury was in retrograde) the last time this happened, I bought a 2 pronged bulb (cause the 2 pack is something like $6 and the one prong bulb alone is $12) and I happily (and carefully..."cause' if you drop a fluorescent bulb they explode into powder..." is the story that my mother told me years ago that always runs through my mind whenever I have to do something like change one of these damned things) skipped out of the store with my ONE PRONGED BULB purchase . The next morning, I got up on the same rickety ladder and carefully (while wrestling and cursing and beating on it) removed the light cover...because due to the flawless (see: stupid) design of these covers, they're next to impossible to get off...all while "surfing" above the ground on the "do not use as a step" part of the ladder and trying not to inhale all the dust that is now sprinkling on top of my head and going up my nose...

Only to realize as I take the 8ft bulb out of the fixture...Hey...

this seems a little bit longer than the one that is safely resting in my car...

SonOfA...

Yup...I got it. A One Pronged Bulb...Only, it was not even close to 8ft...hell, it was not that much taller than me. Looking back, why I thought it was 8ft is a mystery to me. So, when Rich came by the shop for a visit...he offered to run up to the hardware to get me an 8ft ONE PRONG light bulb (he kept repeating this to himself over and over as he climbed in his truck) Ha Ha! I finally outsmarted the light bulb gods by roping another innocent into this mess... After his errands...he came back to the shop with the new bulb and I exclaimed,

"wheee!!"

as he walked through the door...I happened to be chatting with a customer at the time, so I startled him because I was right behind him and not where I usually am behind the counter...making him stagger a bit, but entirely to his credit...he did not drop or smack or break the light bulb into a powdery mess...

I climbed back up the ladder he handed me the light bulb, I put it in and...

Nothing.

Not a damned thing. Oh...unless you count the other bulb coming on, but this one staying totally dark as something. Do you see it up there?

Mocking me?

Do you think it sees me rolling my eyes and shaking my fist to the heavens above? Do you think it knows that I now need to put both bulbs in the car and take them back with receipts in hand and get a refund/exchange? Do you think it realizes it's now cost 2 people more in gas than the light bulb is actually worth? I am honestly scared to go back to the hardware and attempt to get another bulb...

Why am I being punished by the light bulb gods?

Dear Mercury: aren't you tired of being retrograde? Please go direct...please, just a few days early...

just for me?

(The day Mercury went direct...I had to go get a new light bulb...this time, it worked)

Today I am thankful for: Being invited to go to Flagstaff on Saturday ("...although, I'm not sure I'm going") to visit friends of his...I love being a part of someone's life so much that they want to introduce me...I love that someone wants me to stand by his side and that he's willing to stand by mine in exchange. Sometimes, It's nice not to have to go it alone...

For people who clean out their closets...have great taste in clothes...And, are my size...

Oh...and I'm damned thankful for lightbulbs that work...

Oh yes, I am.