30 December 2009

Bringing Sexy Back...


I won't bore you with the details of Christmas morning and all the gifties that were flung around my mother's home (because you all knew all I really wanted was a wii...and I got that, so...)  Christmas started out with a whole different kind of promise this year though, as I found a bottle of Pure Desire lotion in my stocking...that Santa.  He's a real flirt.  I also got some red silicone cupcake molds that my mother suggested I use as a bikini top (more or less) Yes.  Christmas was shaping up this year to be interesting indeed (we are debacherous however...so this was not a surprise)  All those things got me excited that perhaps the year 2010 is holding some promise after all...

This year my grandmother joined in the Snuggie craze...as I witnessed all over the web visiting a lot of homes this season, and in our house it was no different.

It's so nice to know you can be like everyone else.

Only.

We're never really like anyone else in my family...cause my grandmother got us Flankets.  Which are kind of like Snuggies, only super big and fluffy and soft, and they have both a pouch for you to put your feet in to keep them extra warm and a whole other one on the front of the entire contraption...which I decided right then and there that I would use to stuff the cat in, and then I can carry her around like a Kangaroo.

And judging by the picture I've snagged off the net for your enjoyment, they are so much sexier than the Snuggie...if one can figure out how to wrap them around oneself like some sort of Grecian God...and waltz around the house all warm and furry...with a cat in your pouch.  I'll bet it will also look nice with my tiara...

Also?  They might be called Slanket, but I may just have misread the packaging on Christmas morning and Slanket reminds me too much of the Will and Grace Stake It episode, so I'm going with Flanket instead.

It's my blog, I can do what I want.

Plus?  Doesn't Flanket just sound so much better?

I thought so.

Anyway, I had my doubts about the whole thing, but I didn't want to make my grandmother feel bad, so I unpacked the enormous thing and proceeded to wrap it around myself...then my mother and Rozz had discovered they each got one too...but, my mother decided that because of the size of these things if she attempted to put hers on...we wouldn't all fit in the room together.  I'm here to tell you...they are warm and cozy and I could picture myself curling up on the couch reading a book without having my arms all cold.

Me:  Ohhhh...this is nice.  I think all I'm going to do from now on is slather on my Pure Desire lotion and sit on the couch in my Flanket and play with my wii. (snicker)

Mom:  Looks at me sideways and raises one of her eyebrow...Well, then you should definitely put those heart shaped cupcake things on as well...

Me:  Perhaps I should cut a hole in the pouch?  So people can't tell about the wii thing?


Rozzilyn:  Rolling her eyes, sighing, and crossing her arms like only a child in the last moments of her 12th year can do...What is she doing?!  All while picking up her hand to point her thumb in my direction...

Mom:  She's bringing sexy back...Her and Justin Timberlake!


Which immediately had me jumping off the couch and singing Sexy Back (after all, this was a New Years Resolution at one point, and I'm not sure I've been doing all that good a job)  all while shimmying around the room (we take every opportunity we can to embarrass the pre-teens...and I take every opportunity to sing Sexy Back come to think of it...really.  I'm a natural performer.)  Sort of.  These Flankets are rather cumbersome, but I got some good arm motion going...perhaps the greatest thing about the Flankets are that they're open in the back so there's lots of room to Shake the other parts of It...

As far as all the IT parts go anyway.

Maybe they should have been called Shakents...

4 comments:

capello said...

griffin got me a KU snuggie and i'll be a sonofabitch if this is not comfy and cozy and warm gawddammit.

Rhonda Roo said...

i think justin sez hes bringing snuggies back. so youre right on target, except you smell desirous and have silicon pasties.

Christmas at your house sounds EXTREMELY tolerable. :)

XOXOXOXOXOX

Lois Grebowski said...

bwhahahahahahahahaaha...

Mytutorlist.com said...

Lol, that's hilarious. Now I want a Flanket! :D

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