To Eat or Not To Eat...

I am hungry.

That's all there is to it, and to just take a moment to acknowledge what is right around the corner monthly speaking wise, fine...but it doesn't erase the fact that I have caught myself saying, "I'm absolutely starving!" more times to myself in the past 24 hours than I care to own up to. Now it's just like a song lyric I can't get out of my head...

I'm Starving...I'm Starving...

Drop a beat and you have to admit, it's a catchy tune.

It could have started with taking my mum out to dinner at the local health where we ordered a guacamole delight. A kind of veggie salad/hummus/guacamole excitement all housed in a wrap, and in the past, they've been mighty tasty...Well, since the economy has been going by the wayside we've noticed the deli there is getting a little skimpy on things...this wrap barely had anything in it, including guacamole or hummus, which was neither delightful or filling. Plus, they didn't have the right wraps (or most of the ingredients it would seem, for this sandwich or other salad we both wanted to order) So, we sat down and used up so many calories eating that we were actually hungrier than we started.

This is where I think it started.

I am not starving by any means, and if I could just redirect my body to feast on the stored fat then I think we would be in business, but I can't seem to direct it there...it's too busy shouting things like "Taco-Bell" "French Fries" "Cupcakes" "anything fried!" (as it's wont to do this time of the month) it's also whispering in a rather conspiratorial tone, "...you don't need to go to the gym today, see...rest...eat...I'm starving, see!" (it's like having a bad old time gangster in here with me, no wonder I'm so hungry) And, my body knows how much time I spend at the gym trying to tone and slim...

Traitor.

I've been thinking a lot about willpower lately, and how, if I want to change a habit...I'm actually going to have to buckle down and do it and not give in to petty justifications or obsessions. Here that voice?!? I mean, heavens even Queen Latifah lost 20lbs on some sort of fabulous diet recently (and looks damn good, but I think she always looks good) surely I can use this as inspirational motivation enough to resist a fried food call to action

Why, just last week I was thinking, "Food? Food?! We don't need no stinking food!!" and then I would accidentally forget to eat...maybe I'm making up for lost time.

I promised the voice that if we went to work out this afternoon, we could then have a special treat. I used that chipper parent voice we all have inside, I didn't buy it when my mother used it and to tell you the truth, I'm having a hard time buying it now...Even if I know I'm supposed to be in charge of my inner child. She really wants some sort of fried carbs (someone needs a nap...or a time out) Apparently I have no willpower, because the voice is stomping its feet and crossing its arms and suggesting not too quietly that we forget the gym and just go strait to a buffet.

And, I don't even like buffets.