Dear Sadira,
You should probably start going by that name instead of Sadie, I know you think it's over the top weird, but it's actually unique and describes you perfectly. High School is a big drama fest...know that, and don't get all caught up with the stupidity. You know that core group of girls you hang out with? They're seem fun now, but it's not going to last...the drinking will tear them apart because someone's going to have to blame someone else for giving them a drink when their parents catch them...So, stop being a prude and being the designated driver all the time, and imbibe, your mother's only going to catch you the night after you had one sip...And that guy you kiss for the very first time...your very first kiss? You're going to marry him 7 years from then, you may want to rethink your answer when he asks you to be his wife...it's not going to turn out the way you want it to in the end (and it's going to be a hell of a struggle...if you do decide to go forward...leave the first time you have that thought...don't drag it out for 6 more years...that's just nuts!)
College is probably a waste of time. Having a degree is fun, but you would probably have a better time if you talk your parents into funding a 5 year trip to Europe instead...or if you focus on something more creative...go to Berkley or something...please stop being so scared. You're not weird and loud..in fact, you are a funny, talented and creative woman who people enjoy being around (and you're never going to be as thin as you were in high school, so damn it...take off the baggy clothes...a 36C and 100lbs. is hot, stop being so self conscious)
Dye your hair red sooner...it looks better than blond.
And, you will end up liking your hometown...a lot. Buy some damned real estate...save up all you can and buy, you will be super happy in about 2006 (that's when you should sell) that you made that decision. You're going to love owning a shop too...it's going to be fun, stop worrying when it's slow though...you're on a roller coaster with that one, and need to get off. OH...you are super coordinated (stop selling yourself short) get into hiking sooner...and learn how to ride a bike, you're going to be sad that you don't know how. And, honey, it's OK to make mistakes, no one is going to laugh at you (to your face) and trust your intuition...you know more than you think.
The summer of 2001? Yeah, that's going to be an amazing time, please try to slow down and enjoy it more...those people are all going to disappear, and it will be hard to get them back. Your boyfriend from then is going to cheat on you I don't care what he tells you his future plans are with you...please stop falling for that crap (that is a pattern you're going to repeat...Please trust yourself and get out of these relationships sooner...just because you don't have a boyfriend does not mean you are not an amazing and desirable woman, put yourself into therapy sooner about that one. Also: If you get fat to be able to stay in a relationship, that is just plain NOT HEALTHY) You can totally walk in heels, and they make your calves look great...and it's OK to feel good about yourself, it's the only way you're going to be able to live with you...
Don't worry so much, it's all going to be fine, it's all going to fall into place...take a deep breath and know that you're on the right path for you...
(as proposed by CafeMom Writing Challenge)
11 comments:
I couldn't have said it better myself. Even though we knew each other then, I wish we would have been closer. but I'm glad we have the chance to close now. You are who are right now because of what you've been through. Somethimes we need to learn things the hard way. I'm amazed by the wonderful woman you are and I'm happy to be your friend again.-Tonya
This is very sweet. I am going through some stuff with my 12 year old son. I am totally going to do this.But when? soon!
If only we really could write a letter to ourselves... If only... So sweet... sniff sniff... xxo
'Your teenage self' journeyed the path that the universe set out before her.... and hindsight is always in sharper focus. Youth is but for making mistakes and learning from them. The beauty of it all is that you, today, are who you are because of that journey that started many years ago. And just as we should all hug and hold close that little girl that we were, we still need to treat her gently today, for our 'little girl' is still inside of us...and yes, every so often, we tell her we love her, pull her close and tell her 'it's alright.'
Sadira, it's alright.
Give yourself a hug for me, dear friend.
VB
Aw...I love this...
I wonder about stuff like this though...would you really change anything? I think I would have changed a thing or two but overall kept on this path.
I so agree with Velvet Brick and Rusty. Had we not gone through what we have in the past, we would not be who we are today. A relationship that I spent 5 years in, that I kick myself for a lot, really shaped what I wanted in a future relationship, and sought to find.
I love that you wrote this entry though, because I think it feels so good to reflect on who we were, who we are, and who we are becoming. They all fit together. :)
100lbs and 36 C?!? Holy crap! I'm a little teeny bit jealous :)
btw, I'm totally impressed that you look normal in your high school picture...that's more than I cans ay for myself.
I would have liked you back then, too you had a really kind smile
A terrific exercise... I've always wondered what it would look like in reverse. What would have your teenage self have to say to you now?
Lovely, Sadira! Or can I call you Sadie?
OMG I might have to steal this idea for sure!!! This was wonderful to read.
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