Butt Crack and Bling...

Thank you all for the birdie skirt love...it's almost as good as completing the project and getting to wear it.

I do have a dirty little secret though...I am a horrible waist band maker...I can not for the life of me fathom how to put one in successfully...usually it ends up being a wonky wrinkled bunched-up mismatched mess...My grandmother was a fashion designer and master seamstress in her time, and she hasn't shown me (it could be the Sagittarius in her, and she doesn't want anyone to be as good as she is at anything) but rather she explains it so matter of fact, which leaves me both confused and feeling stupid...Honestly, both my mother and I have actually stood in her presence with the deer in the headlight look.

I also haven't learned how to use my buttonholer foot on the machine...so all of the skirts that I make are held together by safety-pins, snaps, hooks and eyes...or velcro (I could actually keep the safety pin manufacturers in business) Which leaves a rather large gap on the sides of my skirts that sometimes exposes my bare skin...

It's shameful.

Someone should vote me of the island.

Plus, with all the pleats in this birdie skirt, it is um...rather full around the hip area (and I accidentally took out too many pleats, so it's big and bunchy...damned me and my impatience about using a measuring tape) So unless I wear a fitted top, I look hippy...

Not like a hippy...

But, like a fat ass.

And, the snugness of the fitted tee means every once in a while it creeps up and I expose my midsection as well. Capello and I were e-chatting about this yesterday, and she agreed that it was indeed lovely to expose oneself when least expected (certainly accompanied by an eye roll) It is amazing to me that JLo made this low-rise-jean-almost-expose-my-naughty-bits-to-everyone-around-style so popular. I can not tell you how many young women's naughty-bits I've almost seen...whenever they come into the shop and bend over or just browse around. It's awful, because they just don't look that good with their bits and pieces hanging out for everyone to see...no matter what age they are or what their bodies look like (plus, it makes it super hard to know where to look when this happens and I'm trying to talk to them) My age is a little...well, um...more mature than some of these whippersnappers, which leads me to worry about my skirts (cause' I'm under no illusion about what my body looks like) So, I've decided right now that I have no choice but to threaten a visit to Victoria's Secret, buy a thong and put my name in rhinestone letters on one strap and Fierce on the other...

I mean, if the midsection and hips are bare...why not enjoy the sparkly plumbers butt as the ultimate fashion accessory?

Or, I could make a plea for help with my waistband making skills...

help.

Cause' butt crack and bling is a terrible thing to waste on my body...

but, would instead make a smashing name for a lingerie store...