21 August 2009

Big Head...


(sorry for the blurry picture...this was the Canon Elph...which doesn't take good close-ups...which, in this case, may be a good thing, but still makes me wonder why I didn't use the 10D? Oh...and also? You should see my drivers license picture.)

Passport.

After two years of trying...my passport renewal application is finally in the mail. I know two years is a dramatic amount of time to spend renewing one's passport, and I'm sure you're wondering if it was because of banditos or some other sort of horrible ambush laying in wait every time I started out to complete this process, but it is more devious than that.

1. I kept putting it off and then I realized all of a sudden that and entire a year year had gone by since my current passport had expired.
2. I did actually send it in, and then realized that my paperwork was old (cause it had been sitting around filled out for a year) and I was $10 short on the application fee, and they had to send it back.
3. The picture was really awful for that particular round of passportage, so I decided that I would retake the picture.

I'm not sure if this picture is any better. At least it's more current...seeing as I was much younger two years ago and whatnot.

I headed to Walgreens this week because they do indeed take and process passport photos for $8...which is a screaming deal. I made myself all up, wore something flattering and walked in. I had to search around for the photo guy, and when I found him he seemed a tad bit nervous and shifty...he quickly ran all around, grabbed a white back drop, and pulled it out of the ceiling, and then went in search of his camera. He then informed me that I had to take my glasses off...OK, although, that sometimes makes me squint when I'm going for a photo because I can't see...and then proceeded to say:

"Another thing they're real sticklers for is a neutral expression."

I must have had a puzzled expression because he followed this up with,

"Don't smile"

fine.

I suppose the next thing he was going to say is that I didn't need to wear my Lucky Brand embroidered tank top and just that little extra bit of make up?

I think I may have heard some tittering from all the people that were now gathered to see the mostly expressionless and only slightly confused girl in front of the pure white screen Mr. Shifty the Camera Guy pulled out of the ceiling.

I still don't think that I got that confused look quite off my face...but at least that will come in handy when I hand my passport over to be stamped in a country where I don't know the language...or like the first time I went to Italy and the man in the passport stamping booth kept asking me a question, and I was searching through the Italian Language files of my brain desperately trying to translate after a 12 hour traveling debacle and watching this man get more and more angry, when my then husband finally leaned over and said, "He's asking if you're here for a vacation...and he's speaking in English."

fine.

He was always a language person.

When I quickly glanced at the picture Mr. Shifty the Camera Guy took on the computer screen, I thought it looked OK (although, truth be told, I don't often like pictures of myself) or at least better than my last photo...although, seeing as everything is digital now, I don't know why everyone doesn't just take a couple of pictures and let you choose...but it wasn't until I went to pick the pictures up that I thought, "hmmmm...."

I kind of look like The Dog...you know? That dog with the really big nose and head and tiny little body?

Yeah.
That's the one.

I have no idea why this is.
I am just waiting to walk into Walgreens and see my photo on a greeting card with the message inside:

"I know what you did this summer"

I am currently tossing around theories that it was because I couldn't try to make myself look nice by smiling and it threw me of my expression game...there were a lot of people milling around snickering and staring at me by this time...and honestly, after I took my glasses off, couldn't see him or the camera, so I think I was possibly leaning forward slightly (also, people talking behind their hands about me? Makes me want to bolt...perhaps I was just trying to get a good foothold.) Looking at the picture, I think given the angle of my shoulders, one being slightly below the other, this may be the best reason why I look like I have an enormous head and a tiny body and hardly any neck...either that or I need to see my chiropractor.

Or a neurologist.
Or start working on neck elongation during yoga.

Then again, I think my picture is an accurate representation of exactly what I look like after a shoddy sleep on a 8+ hour flight...and then after I miss various connecting flights and get into what ever country it is that I'm traveling to hours after I was supposed to arrive which usually coincides with the dead of night.

Now I just need to learn how to say, "I know what you did last summer" in different languages.

2 comments:

Catalyst said...

Erma Bombeck once said something along the lines of "When you start looking like your passport picture, you know your time is nearly up!"

But seriously, I think that's a nice picture. A little blurry but then I don't have my glasses on.

Lois Grebowski said...

I always tell hubby that If I die abroad, not to let them publish my passport photo.

You can't smile at the DMV either. UGH...

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