Just Between Us SuperModels...

This was revealed during an on going email conversation between Laura and I yesterday...


S: So, the Victoria's Secret fashion show is tonight...I'm in it, you know? If you want to watch...I'm the um...good looking blonde with the big rack.

yup.

That's me.

L: oh really? I'm surprised we weren't formally introduced.

I'm the tanned one with all my ribs sticking out who was complaining how many calories are in air.

S: Oh, yes...I've heard about you!

You're really beautiful...

Although, if you got a few ribs removed, they could grind them up to put them in your face and your cheek bones would look more pronounced...and it would make your waist that much slimmer...

I'm just sayin'...

I'm going to go cut out food from my gourmet food magazines so I can put them on my dinner plate tonight...I like to have that with my water with lemon in it...you know?

So I won't get scurvy?

L: *ahem*

I've already had that done.

S: Oh...well then...

I had mine ground up and added to my shin bones so that I could be taller...

And then I had my hips taken in and the extra fat removed and there was so little of it, all I had was a teeny bit to do my lips. sigh.

My plastic surgeon um...beauty consultant, said that he could let my hips out again, if I ever wanted to get pregnant. I have a question though...do women plan that kind of thing? Doesn't that seem weird?

That you would choose to get fat?

On purpose?!

sniff sniff...

Excuse me, the wild party from last night/10 minutes ago is finally
catching up with me!

giggle...

Do you have a hard time walking in the 3 feet of glitter they put on the runway during the VS fashion show? Especially when you're wearing those enormous wings?

Gosh. I wish those really worked. I would love to be able to fly!

I could be a super hero!!

L: yeah, because super heroes are suppose to be fat.

Personally, I can only walk in six inch spiked heals. It hurts to walk flat footed. And without cocaine.

S: I have to go and practice blowing kisses and tape Christmas balls to my bootie...

I hope I don't screw up!


And then we had to go get dressed for the show...or rather undressed...

It was an underwear show you know...

duh.

BTW: You know I was sitting on my chair during the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show eating snacks and lamenting the fact that I will never be super model...and, I loved the Fornasetti back drop screen with all the eyes blinking on it (I want it for the backdrop in my bedroom) I remember dancing at a club with almost the same graphics, back in my youth...and how is it that Heidi Klum can look that good after having kids? I don't look that good..and I've never been pregnant. Anyone else rooting for her to get tangled up in her wings or that big ass snowflake and fall down? You know I was waiting for the Spice Girls to sing as well...I went to see them in concert, and it was honestly the best live show I've ever seen (the fact that most of the audience was 9 year-olds helped as well...I could see for miles and there were no annoying heads in my way) OK...and the Pajama sale advertisement they kept showing during the commercial breaks? Because of the female announcers accent, how many other people thought that she was going to say, "...we're having a vagina sale" rather than, "...we're having a Pajama sale" ? Cause' $29 is a good deal for a new...

well...you know...

(all images courtesy of Google Images)