25 January 2008

Musings...


Ok y'all.

I've about been a basket case (or bucket case as a friend once said to me..."oh, my life's so stressful...I'm just a bucket case!" Which had me rolling on the floor, it's got to be that bad if you can't remember the words to a saying right?) So, I've about been a bucket case since Christmas. Without going into any major details, because a lot of it has to do with me and my healing...or struggling, or hanging onto the edge of the precipice by naught but my fingernails (which if you've seen me isn't saying much, because I can not grow fingernails to save my life...I am a failure as a woman in that particular area, and would go "get them done" except I can't even begin to imagine the chemicals they put in that and what it would do to my body if I absorbed it through my nail bed...it's only horrible regular polish on the nubs for me thankyouverymuch)

I don't know if I've just let go and stepped off the ledge again, or found a more stable place to stand for a little while...but communications have been better within my own head, which has eased the tension in me (which is where it was in the first place...and no, I don't hear voices in my head...I just happen to really think about things a lot and I am trying to DO life differently) Perhaps it was a simple a-ha moment in therapy? OR the realization that Winter-time is not my favorite time of year and it's kicking my ass. Whatever the case, I haven't felt like myself, and I do now...a little more (baby steps Bob) So, I thought I'd share the other things that have been going on around here as of late...

*I have decided to start a Candida Cleanse to wash that Candida right out of my intestines (catchy don't you think? Well, what do you expect...one of my degrees is in advertising) It just so happened that this cleanse has coincided with another monthly thing...which about put my body over the edge Tuesday...But, I feel great today...it could be the effects of the full moon talking, it could be the fact that I am cleansing my body and ridding it of further allergins...whatever the case? It may not last (I'm not trying to be negative, it's just that usually with a cleanse, there are stages of out out damned _____ insert whatever you're cleansing) I am trying to embrace the "I feel good" in the moment...work with me here.

*I also happen to have upon my face, the largest zit known to man...it is HUGE. Whatthehell? I thought acne was an adolescent thing, I mean, these are the things we are led to believe...although, my mother was complaining about it (herself not me...that would be rude...funny, but rude) so, I'm sure clear skin must be genetic.

Oh Pooh...

I know I'm not supposed to be picking at it, but let's just put it this way: If you colored it brown? I'd look like Marilyn Monroe (in the fact that it would look like a beauty mark, not that I'd be admired by millions of people) Thank God I am no longer a teenager, and live under the delusion that I could try and leave the house with some sort of concealer on it, thus making it a huge bumpy red spot with a bunch of crusty tan stuff flaking off of it all day...cause' that's really sneaky...no one ever notices that.

Nope.
Never.

*My friend Jen is in town. She's a wonderful girl...and is here for her yearly visit to the family that has decided to move out here...right around the time she met a wonderful guy and decided to fall in love and move away. Isn't that just life? Anyway, we have these fun little rituals whenever she's in town, like dinner and a hike...she spends the night in the Sock Monkey guest room (it's not just for sock monkey's anymore) and we play catch up. She has alerted me to the fact that she has an etsy shop...and I just love her little creations so very much, I thought I'd share them with you. She is a very magical person and I love the time I get to spend with her...she reminds me of the magic in life (or rather, when I had it...not that I won't have it again, or I don't have it now, it was just different way back when...oh whatever.)

* I have totally and completely fallen in love...

With a new water bottle. Oh joy...Rich's family sent him one for the holidays and he just sprung it on me on our trip to Phoenix. I was all, "dude...hahahaha...are you sucking water out of that bottle from a straw and one of those rubber things? That really looks like a baby bottle!" Then I got all jealous when I realized that it has got to be a hell of a lot easier to pop the top back and drink through a straw than it is to have to screw the top off and almost drown every time you take a drink (which is what I always do...either that, or take an impromptu shower on the front of whatever I'm wearing) So, I started to feel all small about it, and had to cross my arms a little bit...

I almost grabbed myself one when we were at REI, but waited till' we got home (that way I could totally torture myself about it...thus justify the purchase of another water bottle) I dashed up to Manzaneta Outdoors before our drive on Sunday, and then proceeded to have a mini-meltdown over my color choice...but decided to go with pink, cause all the other one I have are pink (even though my favorite color is red, so I have no idea what that's about) Although? there was this really great gold color that totally would have matched Honey with a flying/fire tribal skull thing on it that said, "Hydrate or Die" (Which about made me crack up because it was all serious...I'm not a terribly serious hiker, or hydrator, and I can't quite picture myself walking up to someone on a trail, get all up in their face and scream, "hydrate or die!!" I could, however, see myself yelling it as I jumped out of a plane...) I understand the importance of remembering to drink water in Arizona and the importance of water for all living life...but, I don't particularly want to be all tough about it...Of course, I am considering purchasing it because of the skull and whatnot, and skulls are cool!! That's what the young kids like nowdays anyway...

(that and concealer)

8 comments:

Wende said...

There is a ton to absorb here... I just read an article on Tiny Choices that suggests the polycarbonate bottles are still leaching stuff into our water! Which has me using a glass... ack. Not nearly as colorful as I'd like, nor as portable.

As for the rest. . . time heals in its own seasonal way. It's never linear, weirdly. Hang in there. (and I hear you about Winter. Blech,)

And BTW: thank you for your rockin' support of BW over on Modish. He loved your comment and is so tickled. :D

capello said...

does the funk have anything to do with... um... the lack of getting something? ahem.

hey, before you do that candida cleanse, have you ever tried some good old fashion nystatin? that stuff does wonders.

craftaddictconfessional said...

Hope your funk soon dissipates and the candida cleanses on outta there, too. (Nifty water bottle -- best not let my boy see it or he'll add it to his "I want" list.)

flutter said...

and a tea bag for the zit. Oof.

Tonya said...

oh you are tooo funny! You always make me laugh. hey your pimple can't be as big as that thing I had on my forhead....I was dating Dan and work at New Frontiers... that was a freakin' mountain turned volcano and i still have the scar to prove it. We should catch up IM me.

Jennifer Goertzen said...

I'm very interested in your candida cleanse (although, frankly, that sentence made me sound a bit freakish). I've recently come to believe that candida may be a part of my health problems too (according to the web, it is a part of everyone's problems basically, so why the hell not). I'll be interested to know how the cleanse affects you and also, did you pick a specific program and which one is it?

Felicia said...

I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

Jolene George said...

When I write things down, it tends to quite the voices in my head. :o)
Whenever my boys get zits, my husband cant stand it and is always messing with them...squeezing their faces. poor kids!
Oh how I need to drink more water.

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